Our Books
A little twisted humor designed to bring on a smile

From time to time we present a flipbook of "interesting" pictures for your enjoyment. We have been asked to present these once again, the old ones dredged up from the depths to walk among us once again.

Over time we have passed along a picture or two (many) and asked for comments, our "Books" are the result; so thanks to everyone who took the time to comment on the pictures .... now stop reading this crap and flip through the books.

Most of us have traveled, heck we are Truckers after all. We have spoken to many who have been around our planet several times! That's all well and good but where was the best scenery? Looking down from Mount Everest? How about across a clear blue lagoon? Now we are getting close, how about the view across a golden sandy beach. Sometimes the view is wonderful, sometimes not so wonderful and occasionally it can be down right frightening!

We found a few pictures that give us a dog's view on life and especially their lives on the beach.

Check out the views.

Dog Daze

Oh Boy!  Oh Boy!

We all love man's best friend, or should do.

There are so many reasons to love our pets. They play with us and we play with them. They demonstrate interest in the same things we enjoy.

This fellow is keen on something we guys can't deny is exactly what interests us! Good Dog! Way to go Pal!

Oh Boy!  Oh Boy!

Good Dog

Our puppy proves once again that he is man's best friend; for all the right reasons.

Dog Daze

Yellow Snow

I just laid a warm patch of yellow snow!

Have you ever wondered what is on a dog's mind? I can't for the life of me decide what this guy is thinking about but it looks like whole lotta fun, whatever it is.

Yellow Snow

Smile

No matter how your day is going, try to smile about it anyway.

Dog Daze

I'm trying okay?  I'm trying!

A guy over there promised me a bone if I did this!

Sometimes our pets can be very helpful. We can teach them to get the newspaper, the mail, the slippers ....

Now this would be a neat trick and no mistake.

I'm trying okay?  I'm trying!

Good Dog

Nick Knack Paddywack, give a dog a bone. Hell we would give him a Ribeye if he could get this done

Dog Daze

Beach work!

Go Dog, Go! You have to support this little guy!

There is an entire video of this scene although you will have to watch an ad to see it. Very funny!

See the Video
Beach work!

Go Puppy, Go

Take a look at the video if you get a chance. We were cheering for the pup!

Dog Daze

Ice Cream?

You have to envy the dog don't you?

I tried this once then I didn't see her for about a week. Then it got to be that I could see a little light out of my right eye!

Ice Cream?

Slurp!

It's a dog's life, or so we are told. Maybe she dumped some Ice Cream down her shirt?

Dog Daze

Warning

We thought about this one for a while and finally decided it was a good picture to feature.

Dogs have a habit of chasing stuff; this one apparently does it so often that a warning sign had to be placed to warn others of a possible danger.

Warning

Chasing Rocks

I wonder if he barks loud enough would he attract attention?


Okay, let's move on. Life is a beach right? So let's stay there, at least lets stay with water and where you find water (especially in conjunction with lots of sun) you will find scantily clad ladies.

Life is so damn good isn't it?

What a Beach

Growl

Everyone takes a selfie now and then, in fact the official estimate is 93 million selfies taken every day.

If you look like this there is probably someone watching and thinking not so nice things about you. Occasionally you can catch them in the act of thinking.

Growl

What a Beatch

Thinking "Beatch" would be apt from someone jealous or envious and not as well endowed.

What a Beach

Basketballs

Go to any beach anywhere in the world and someone will be playing ball

Sometimes playing ball means bringing one to the beach but for some lucky people bringing a ball is all a matter of nature

Basketballs

Basketballs

This is why to most men preparing for the Summer Beach Season means buying a new pair of Mirrored Sunglasses

What a Beach

Gentlemen?

The true test of a Gentleman: Opening a Car Door for a Lady? Walking closest to the curb protecting a Lady in case a passing Cab splashes through a puddle?

We think that the benchmark indication of a True Gentleman is the willingness to help a Lady, no matter the situation.

Gentlemen?

Gentlemen Please?

In this situation a True Gentleman will offer to adjust the Ladies attire ensuring that the Ladies modesty remains intact.

What a Beach

What a Beach!

A picture can often speak a thousand words, we know this to be true

We spent some time studying this image before we realized that what we were seeing is actually an optical illusion

What a Beach!

Life Preserver

Safety first! Never go on the water without a good life jacket. The best kind inflate automatically

What a Beach

Boy Scouts

We have discussed this picture at length and have made a final decision as to what is going on here

This poor young lady is in need of a Boy Scout with a good knowledge of Knots. A Reef Knot isn't hard to tie but this fine Lady with the Six Pack is having a hard time.

Boy Scouts

A Good Deed Needed

Loosing control and scared to let it out? No, she just needs a Boy Scout, or better still an Eagle Scout ... or a Marine, a Soldier, a Sailor ....

What a Beach

Savage

We loose our clothes and sometimes we loose our inhibitions when we go to the beach

What puts us off most at the beach could be the general lack of manners on the part of some ladies. Some think it is acceptable to attack an innocent young man who otherwise would be content to hang out with friends and enjoy the sun

Savage

Savage Attack

This woman is savagely ripping the poor young man's face off with her teeth while eating his hand. Terrible thing to see.

What a Beach

Beach Dick

Only female Mosquitoes bite, so maybe only male Sharks bite?

If this is true and Sharks are a little homophobic, perhaps this could be the 'wave' (pun intended) of the future. Protect yourself from homophobic Sharks with the new Dickaboard

Beach Dick

Hang Ten

You have to admire the courage of this surfer, not only going to the beach to brave Sharks but taking her own dick along

What a Beach

Boot in the Booty

We all know that this guy has more in mind than just a day on the beach

Truly this is not a good explanation of how to get the girl. The kind of score this dude is about to make isn't going to end with a cuddle and a kiss goodnight

Boot in the Booty

Sock her

He'd been entertaining her all day with stories of his Soccer prowess, then it was time to score.

What a Beach

Monkey Business

"Hey Hey we're the Monkeys and people say we Monkey around"

If you remember the song you are older than you thought! Monkeying around on the beach is fine but taking it literally is a group of fine ladies one of whom doesn't simian to mind getting down ... if you know what we mean

Monkey Business

Monkeying Around

Somewhere around here we have dogs on the beach, so why not a Monkey

What a Beach

Fatty

There's a lawsuit here in case you skinny people hadn't noticed

Whoever sold this guy such a small seat should be held accountable for this beachin' embarrASSment. If he gets a large sized Judge on his side he would get a good judgement against the supplier

Fatty

Fatty

Please don't be judgemental folks, at least he isn't wearing a Speedo!

What a Beach

OMG

We analyzed this picture for a long time before we decided what it was about. We love analyzing pictures.

Have you ever heard a cry for help from someone in the water? This is what Lifeguards dream about although we think that if this lady called for help someone would arrive long before the Lifeguard got out of his chair.

OMG

OMG

Something touched my foot! Help! Get it off! You'd volunteer, don't deny it.

What a Beach

A Dolphin

It's amazing what we find in the water isn't it? All sorts of fun stuff just floating around.

Yuck! Yuck! There I was sitting by the pool when suddenly a Dolphin popped out of the water besides me. No wait! That's not a Dolphin. Dolphins don't have those wonderful looking bumps.

A Dolphin

Dolphin

Oh come on, don't blame us. We would be staring down her cleavage too.


When we first saw this we had to stand back and take a moment, we filled that moment with enough beer to make it a few minutes and then hours.

Now we were ready to take a look.

Air Sex

BJ

This is one of the contestants at the Air Sex Championships

It doesn't take much imagination to guess what act this woman is simulating... and it's not stealing gasoline.

BJ

Good Girl

She looks like she is enjoying what she is doing, but what is she doing?

Air Sex

Mickey?

Here's something you won't see in the Disney Vault.

Mickey Mouse gets in on the "act" at the Air Sex World Championships. Should we call this Mouse Style?

Mickey?

Cheater

And how does Minnie feel about this?

Air Sex

Power Grab

I'm not sure if this is enticing or frightening, but I think it's time to break out the power sander. Home Depot has never looked so filthy: You can "do it," we can help.

This is one of the contestants at the Air Sex World Championships at the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin, Texas in June 2009.

Power Grab

Scarey

Tell me that this doesn't disturb you, just a little, admit it!

Air Sex

Licking?

Let your imagine run wild, because there are so many ways to answer so many questions: What's he doing? Who's he doing it to? Where is he doing it? And what's the cape for?

We think you had to be there to have a clue about this one.

Licking?

Crusader

The Caped Crusader would be mortified, or not?

Air Sex

The Big O!

If that's his "O" face, you have to wonder how many women run screaming from the room.

This howling contestant puts his own spin on copulation at the Air Sex World Championships in Austin, Texas.

The Big O!

Goodness

Seeing a guy's rendition of the Big 'O' isn't our thing but the ladies might appreciate it.

Air Sex

Push Up

A one-handed push-up... during sex?

Maybe he's not sure what the competition is, or maybe this is just one of the most athletic performances at the Air Sex World Championships in Austin, Texas.

Push Up

Humping

We agree that none of us has thought about push-ups during sex

Air Sex

and Sexy too!

We had a vote and all agree that this is the sexiest of them all.

There's a whole lotta lust going on here as this woman puts on a show of orgasmic proportions at the Air Sex World Championships.

and Sexy too!

Go Girl Go!

Nothing to say, just sitting back and enjoying.

Air Sex

Seriously?

We weren't there to see the event, surely if we were we might have had an idea what this guy is doing.

We kept this one for last and not without reason. We think every good story should end with something that keeps you awake at night.

Seriously?

Leather

Whatever he's doing, he's totally into it.


We have discussed the use of Sex Toys and all in all we didn't have much to say, perhaps because none of us guys want to admit to their use, on ourselves at least. Girls? Go for it!

Here are a few to consider.
Sex Toys

Rub My Duckie

A cute and incognito treat, Duckie helps make bath times extra fun with multi speed vibrations and smooth silicone material.

We thought about this one for a while and finally decided that a Rubber Duckie belongs in the bath, not in the bed. Still, it's a personal choice isn't it?


I Rub My Duckie Massager, $19.99, Lovehoney.com

Rub My Duckie

Rubber Duckie

This is not the Rubber Duckie Kermit the Frog sang about. Just making sure everyone understands that.

Sex Toys

Eiffel Tower

For a memorable night out in Paris, take your pleasure to all new heights with this chic and original dildo.

We don't think that Mr. Eiffel, the guy who built the Statue of Liberty, had this in mind when he built the famous Parisian Landmark.


Eiffel Tower Dildo; $38.95, wickedtemptations.com

Eiffel Tower

Tourism

You will never look at the Eiffel Tower the same way again.

Sex Toys

Cookie Dough

Put down that tub of Ben & Jerry's ice cream and pick up this lube instead!

Why not indeed, Cookie Dough not only tastes good, it smells good too. Rub it on and risk blowing your diet.


Cookie Dough Edible Lubricant - 8oz, Topco; $13.30, playtimeboutique.com

Cookie Dough

Ben and Jerry's?

Statistics demonstrate that after sex we check our Facebook or Twitter account. No more! Now we'll hit the freezer for Ice Cream.

Sex Toys

Very Sharp

The claw and pinwheel can be used (carefully) to create a variety of sensations.

WTF? This looks like something you might find in a woodworking shop, not in a bedroom. Some people like a risk we suppose, and an ambulance on standby.


Razor Sensation Tool; Incoqnito; $89, ahanoir.com

Very Sharp

Shop Tools

Soft and Pliable sounds like a good description of Sex Toys. This looks it might double as a Can Opener

Sex Toys

Male Exciter

An artistic looking male-masturabtion toy that turns inside out to provide mass amounts of pleasure.

If you need to turn anything inside out to enjoy it then you are handling fruit, or fish, or something like that.


3D Polygon; $39, ahanoir.com

Male Exciter

Inside Out

iBlookin' wanted to order this and test it for himself. Since then we haven't been able to get him on the phone

Sex Toys

Tonguer

This compact device will use ten petite ‘tongues’ to have you squealing with pleasure. Small enough to fit in your purse and keep you company anywhere you go.

Just for fun we didn't read a discription for any of these toys and in blissful ignorance decided what it might be for. We though this was some kind of cooling fan, perhaps one that contains a water reservoir for a cooling spray. How wrong we were.


Sqweel Go; $59.00, babeland.com

Tonguer

Tongues

Like the ability to breath through your ears, having more than one tongue is a benefit

Sex Toys

Princess

With three levels of pulse intensity, The Princessa is enough to make anyone looking for the royal treatment blush.

When we first saw this one we though about weaponry, specifically a bomb. Nope, this one will produce a blast of different proportions.


Vibratex Girls Princessa; $89.95, thepleasurechest.com

Princess

Royal Bomb

This Grenade doesn't have a pin. We know because we checked

Sex Toys

Apple

Ideal for travel, this sensuous fruit offers five different settings and seven vibration patterns. You know what they say, an apple a day keeps the cravings at bay.

This is not the kind of Apple you would send to school with your kid as a gift for teacher, although doing so might be a good idea, your kid might be at the top of the class by the time they come home.


Forbidden Fruit Personal Massager, Rianne S; $115, ahanoir.com

Apple

Teacher's Gift

"Teacher, I bought you an Apple."

Sex Toys

Brush

This feather caress is just the right combination of saucy and subtle to tickle anyones fancy.

We checked with our local chimney sweep and apparently he has a whole stack of these, he says they are useful and very reliable


$20, Plumeau Caresse; Maison Close, journelle.com

Brush

Sweeper

Good for the garden and the chimney, a very versatile tool

Sex Toys

Pony Tail

Perfect if you were a my little pony fan growing up. The rainbow pink pony tail plug is an imaginative adult toy with a two-tone plug in body-safe borosilicate glass.

We contacted the makers of My Pony about this one, they didn't return our call.


Tasha Reignbow Pony Tail Plug, Crystal Delights; $125, ahanoir.com

Pony Tail

My Little Pony

Not only is this item good for additional pleasure in the bedroom, it can amuse your Little Pony loving kids for hours

Sex Toys

Door Handle

A luxury pleasure object for men available in silver or 18K gold plate. The Lelo Earl targets prostate massage through anal penetration.

I recently changed the hardware on a door at home. This looks very reminiscent of the equipment I installed.


Lelo Earl; $1590.00 - $2590.00, lelo.com

Door Handle

Sexy Hardware

Truly, a perfect tool if you are trying to open new doors

Sex Toys

Balls

They may look like crystal balls, but they have a very different function. With this training kit, the future predicts becoming an anal expert.

Each is individually tested which might mean thinking about it a little longer.


Orbite Anal Training Kit, $32.95, adamandeve.com

Balls

Very Stong

We hope these are strong, broken glass in the rectum tends to ruin people's day

Sex Toys

Masturbator

This masturbator is made from a 24-karat, gold plated metal ring and a stretchy rubber-gel padding. Primarily for men, it fits perfectly around the penis and comes with matching cufflinks and a 1 year warranty.

We wonder what matching cufflinks has to do with this piece of hardware. We also have to wonder who would pay this much for the ring in the first place.


The Gold Ring, Alpha One; $400, ahanoir.com

Masturbator

The Gold Ring

Nice until you think that your wife probably didn't pay close to that amount for your wedding ring

Sex Toys

The Cage

If you can both look past the initial scariness, this cage contraption offers longevity and wild textured sensations for the both of you.

We tried but we couldn't get past the aforementioned scariness. This contraption looks like something we wouldn't want to have around our best friend and our partners wouldn't want inside them wrapped around our best friends.


Silicone Penis Cage and Ring Set; $10.95, adamandever.com

The Cage

Death Cage

In ancient times they built these big enough for a man to fit into, and die. Think about it

Sex Toys

Cherries

A twist on Ben Wa balls, these silicone Kegel balls are so lightweight and quiet you’re able the wear them in public without anyone knowing your little secret if you so desire.

We thought that the whole idea of wearing Steel Ben Wa balls was so that EVERYONE around knew what was going on. We have been wrong before though.


Charming Cherries Kegel Balls; $22.95, adamandeve.com

Cherries

Cherries

A whole new meaning on Cherry Pie. "Cream anyone?"

Sex Toys

Shocker

Feeling brave? Lovers of nipple play can increase the shock factor by dialing up the settings on this hand held power unit.

Okay, now we know you are kidding, right? We thought that introducing electricity into the bathroom in the form of automatic flushers, etc was a little strange. Electricity and water?


Shock Therapy Nipple Clamps, $49.95, www.adamandeve.com

Shocker

Shocking

We wonder if this is a form of exercise while getting a form of exercise

Sex Toys

Tips

Hello Touch is the smallest fingertip vibrator available that allows both internal and clitoral stimulation. This toy is definitely hands on.

This looks like it would be wonderful. Personally I enjoy someone running their fingers across my back. iBlookin' said he enjoys the feel of an oily wrench across his back and RamblingGround said something we couldn't repeat.


Hello Touch Wearable Vibrator, JimmyJane; $65, ahanoir.com

Tips

Fingers

For a truly electric touch.

Sex Toys

Ropey Ring

Made with spiralled cotton rope, which comes in a range of two colors, the Xena cuff allows you to be all tied up in style.

This looks all well and good until you see the price. We are left wondering if we have been missing something all this time.


Xena Cuff; $350, agentprovocateur.com

Ropey Ring

Christmas Gift?

Sorry but this leaves us wondering. Why go to all the expense, are we missing something? Oh yeah, a Bank Account

Sex Toys

Knee Dick

A totally new approach to the strap-on experience, the Thigh Harness allows for many added pleasures such as face-to-face intimacy and is hands-free for multitaskers.

No comment, seriously .... no comment. A few giggles (we are little kids) but no comment.


Thigh Harness; $32, babeland.com

Knee Dick

Tired?

When your hips get tired this might be useful or how about offering a lady a knee?

Sex Toys

Closeness

Stay close with this padded blow job helper by holding onto each handle, while wrapping it around the back of the giver’s head, pulling them closer.

We had been under the impression that the giver had handles already installed. What else are the ears for?


James Deen Stay Close Waist Belt; $17.99, edenfantasys.com

Closeness

Handles

We thought this was a waste until Preacher suggested, "Slingshot!"

Sex Toys

Kids Toy?

For a more unique vive, meet the Amorino Vibrator. Use on it's own, or attach the detachable silicone band for a whole new experience.

We are agreed on this one, it is a Rubber Band Gun. We used to build them ourselves as kids but someone has actually made one for sale? Where do we order.


Fun Factory Amorino Vibrator; $99.95, funfactory.com

Kids Toy?

Distance

With this you can get distance. All your school friends will be envious. Amazing

Sex Toys

Exercise Weights

Looking for some workout inspiration? Incorporate these vagina weights into your routine for toned PC muscled and stronger orgasms.

Buy these for your lover and encourage her vaginal workout. Pretty soon you will enjoy telling your friends your lover beats you up.


Lovelife Flex Kegel Set; $45, babeland.com

Exercise Weights

Weights

Next time we are at the Gym we'll look for a girl with these and ask if she needs a spotter

Sex Toys

Dead Ringer

Designed to nestle in all the right places, this vibrating cock ring allows for easy adjustment without taking the attention away from the task in hand.

They sell these in Truckstops except I thought they were to make your neck more comfortable.


Lovelife Share Vibrating Cock Ring; $59.00, pinkcherry.com

Dead Ringer

Heart

Have a heart. No seriously, have a heart.

Sex Toys

Triple Bullet

Why stick to one texture on your dildo? Change it up with this 3 in 1 vibrating bullet.

I watched a Sci-Fi movie the other day; one part of the story involved a Cosmic Ray Accelerator module and it looked EXACTLY like this except that this says Trojan and the movie version said Cosmic Ray Accelerator Module.


Trojan Vibrating Multi-Thrill; $29.99, www.trojanvibrations.com

Triple Bullet

Star Trek

Beam me up Scotty


There are plenty of funny pictures around the web but we chose a few for comment by our Moderator.

Doing this kind of thing gives us an insight into our Moderator's minds that is hard to get our heads around.
Funny

Sperm

We took a look around the web and picked a few images we could comment on.

First off a picture can tell a thousand words but the words provided by the author of this image present a very funny interpretation

Sperm

Sperm Travels

Something tells us that someone isn't going to get pregnant.

Funny

Sexy Hydrant

We believe there is a very good reason this hydrant looks like this.

Sex sells! It's an undeniable fact that a little sex in an ad makes people pay attention. This hydrant is supposed to sell Firemen on using it.

Sexy Hydrant

Hydrant

Something to keep a fireman warm on cold nights.

Funny

Dick

One of the most important parts of starting a business is considering the name under which your business will operate.

When studying this image the conversation included something about the Chinese owner of a laundry who had named his business using his own name, Fu King Laundry Services. We believe that the owner of this business took a lesson from him.

Dick

What a Dick

Do they sell Liquor or have we really misread this.

Funny

Another one

See? Here's another one. Doesn't anyone take a look before deciding the job is finished?

So? Have you ever tasted better? If we are to take the signage literally then personally speaking, I have no experience with which to judge. I think you ladies may have a better answer but not me.

Another one

Tasting Good?

Us Guys are not even a little bit curious

Funny

Kermit

We sat silently and thought about this picture. We sat quietly contemplating a comment for a very long time

Here's the problem, we all love Kermit and this seemed like a huge insult to our little green friend. We were staggered by the complexities of the image when referenced to the way we feel about the little guy. Then we decided "Fuck it" and went out for beer and Frogs Legs.

Kermit

Our Friend Kermit

We feel pretty good that our buddy is getting more than bacon

Funny

Scooby Doo

We've all seen these machines before but have you ever seen these machines before

If we spend our day looking at the world through the lens of humor we will see more of this kind of thing. After looking at this and finding it normal we decided that we need psychological help. It seems that we have looked through the lens of humor for so long, we can't turn it off. Drugs have helped.

Scooby Doo

Scooby Doo

Personally, I will never look at Scoob the same way again

Funny

Ass

We hate to be political but having seen this we have to wonder if someone has hit the nail on the head

If you have spent any time in the middle east prior to all the trouble there you would realize it's quite a place to visit. Indeed it was beautiful. Not so much now with all the fighting. It only takes a few to turn beautiful to all fucked up.

Ass

Crack

If this is correct maybe a little hemorrhoid surgery will help?

Funny

Orange Dick

We were talking about the lens of humor?

This was taken from the core of an Orange. You have to be a little sick to notice this while splitting an Orange which means that we would all notice this while splitting an Orange. Don't deny it, you know you would notice this while splitting an Orange. You know you would!


Don't believe it? Click here.

Orange Dick

Orange Flavoring

Go ahead, eat the Orange Dick ... it's seedless!

Funny

Flies

Birds do it, bees do it,
Even educated fleas do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love .....

We took a look at this one and iBlookin' told us about the level of joy he feels when swatting two fucking flies. We think iBlookin' is a sick puppy but that makes him more adorable doesn't it?

Flies

Flies

For the educated, this has nothing to do with "Lord of the Flies."

Funny

Elephants

There's not much we can say about this one

Yup! There's not much we can say about this one. Ramblingground said some stuff about it but we have standards and don't want to be too specific about her comments.

It was something about Elephants in the refrigerator, footprints in the butter, broken eggs, missing milk and extra cream but we want to protect the squeamish.

Elephants

Chickens

Even Chickens cheat

Funny

Gothamguy

This could be any store at any time of day. Men think about sex so many times of day.

When I posted this image for comment from the Moderators they all came up with the same comment. "Is that Gothamguy?"

No really! They did!!

Gothamguy

Thoughtless

We wonder what he is doing on the phone

Funny

Shadows

I set these pictures out for comment but this one had to be taken down relatively quickly

This cartoon didn't attract many comments but it set Preacher to giggling. He's a biker and there was something very sad about a biker with the giggles. We took it down to protect his lovely wife when he started to drool.

Shadows

Shadows

Shadows can be misleading

Funny

Kit Kat

Have a break, have a Shit Jack!

Unsure of how much is Photoshopped we decided it is all Photoshopped. The work was done by someone with a great sense of humor and we love it.

Kit Kat

Kit-Kat

A whole new meaning to snacking

Funny

Eggs

The age old question keeps cumming up

It's a real question and one that raises it's ugly head especially during conversations between Creationists and those who follow the theories of Darwin. These conversations often involve weapons and spilled blood.

A friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg; even though you are a little cracked.

Eggs

The Age old question

How do you fuck an egg without breaking a shell


Our Beaches are mostly beautify and sometimes downright disgusting. There are things on the beach however, that make any day on any beach just peachy.

Check out a few reasons a rainy day can be full of sun.
Boobs

Volleyball

This is a very helpful beachgoer

The regulations for this beach forbids playing Volleyball. We didn't know that beaches had rules so restrictive but hey, what do we know. Anyway, this lady - seeing that the rule was being violated took matters into her own hands, so to speak, and is holding the balls so the players can't play.

Volleyball

Volleyball

Playing ball is not allowed on this beach, dammit!!

Boobs

The Cavalry

Someone was keeping Volleyballs in reserve

Hearing of the stalled Volleyball game the Cavalry arrives carrying two more. The game can continue!!!

Yeah!!!

The Cavalry

Flotation

We are sure that this gorgeous lady could never drown as a result of sinking with this magnificent flotation device

Boobs

Crabs

There was a crab, right there! It was there! Where did it go???

We really don't have anything to say about this. It's just a good picture. It's an amazing picture.

Crabs

Searching

Something is missing? We are lining up to help look

Boobs

Rocks

Not boobs but a very good reason for a lighthouse

Lighthouses are put in place to warn mariners of dangerous rocks. We think that if this gets any bigger and is left this close to the water, a lighthouse might be necessary.

TightCherri think we are just getting our rocks off.

Rocks

Fine Ass

Climbing lessons offered, sign up today

Boobs

Spot the Difference

If you look carefully, very very carefully

Go ahead, take it in. Look at these two pictures, they might look exactly the same, there might appear to be no difference.

In fact there is no difference, it's the same picture twice. We hope you enjoyed studying the image.

Spot the Difference

Tsunami

We think if she fell over with these they would initiate a tsunami. Not really we just wanted to spell tsunami

Boobs

Beer Shelf

Here's a contrast, a little work on the boobs would put her on the front page of every magazine in the world ... maybe not Time.

Standing behind this lady at a concert would be pleasurable enough but having somewhere to put your beer would be an amazing convenience. Wouldn't it? Huh? Huh?

Beer Shelf

Butt

Just wondering if this requires an "Oversize Load" banner

Boobs

What the hell?

Lost something?

We are not sure what is happening here. Either she thought she could hear something hissing or she thought they were bigger last time she looked. Then again, maybe she lost something?

What the hell?

Surprise! Surprise!

Yup, they are still there. Relax!

Boobs

Mermaid

Beautiful

Having a Mermaid in this book is kinda obligatory. Can't you imagine swimming in the ocean and seeing this pop out of the water close by?

iBlookin' thought about this and then disappeared for a while. When he came back he had a smile on his face.

Mermaid

Mermaid

Have you ever eaten Anchovies?

Boobs

Wow!!

We love titties but holy crap!

When we saw this picture we all agreed she is beautiful but we also recognized the similarity between these and those huge fenders used by ships. These would be more fun but wow!!

Wow!!

Fenders

It's all about taste and we bet these taste pretty damn good

Boobs

Dangerous

Stunned into silence

We looked, then we looked again. We couldn't speak.

No comment

Dangerous

Speechless

Surely these are dangerous. Wonder if she has back problems


One of the most amusing places to visit at a Zoo is the Monkey Enclosure. Recent research by Flash A Trucker's Preacher reveals that there is a reason they are kept behind bars.

Monkeys always get the girl!!
Monkey Business

Too Happy

Scientists tell us that Monkeys and Humans share 99% of their genes; that's genes, not jeans. Nobody wants to share their Jeans with a Monkey anyway; except Jean but she is pretty Liberal when it comes to animals.

It seems that Monkeys share a considerable amount of Man's, that is a Guy; not Man as in Mankind, the Male of the Human species, interest in the Human Female's Breasts, as in yabbos, tig bitties, knockers, mammaries, fun bags, honkers, headlights, baps, meat puppets, ta-tas, naturals, boobies, guns, bahama mammas, balloons, bawagos, big brown eyes, blinkers, bobambas, bodacious tatas, bombs, bosom, bosooms, boulders, Bristols and so on.

Too Happy

The Respecter Monkey

You have to respect the Monkey's taste don't you?

Monkey Business

It's Not Fair

Who is to tell what is right and wrong. A Monkey grabs a girls breasts and its all fun and laughs. I grab a girl's boobs and there are Police involved.

It should be noted here that Preacher who has a magnificent beard, has on occasion grabbed a girl's boobs and nobody has been sure whether to laugh, cry or call the Police.

It's Not Fair

Preacher

Here we have Preacher getting away with it once again!

Monkey Business

Dancer

Guys, do you remember working up the courage to cross the dance floor and ask a girl to dance?

These little guys didn't even take her out to dinner. Okay, she is objecting a little but we don't think they thought twice about crossing the floor. In fact we are not sure they asked anything.

Dancer

The Groper Monkey

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town. ~ George Carlin

Monkey Business

Wind Monkey

There is a famous picture with Marilyn Monroe standing on a grate, air blowing up her dress. Nice.

Having a little wind around is very helpful to Monkeys, especially the rare, Windy Monkey. The windy Monkey waits around for a breeze and sees what blows in, or up.

Wind Monkey

The Wind Monkey

Monkeys have had the jump on Marilyn Monroe's picture since pre-history.

Monkey Business

Coke Anyone

Some Monkeys arrive on time for a date, properly attired and ready for a pleasant evening.

She might have expected a decent meal, Italian perhaps, a nice wine and stimulating conversation. He shows up in a Tee Shirt and she wonders if she will give it up for him tonight or not.

Coke Anyone

The Coke Monkey

Coke is good, Champagne is better

Monkey Business

Creepy

Monkeys are so successful at this kind of thing that Humans had to catch on eventually. No, we are not saying he is Human - Just Not Monkey

Yes, I've kissed a lot of guys. I like to kiss, but that's it. I don't go home with anyone. I sleep with my animals, like my baby monkey, Brigitte Bardot. ~ Paris Hilton

Creepy

Creepy

It had to happen; man see, man do

Monkey Business

Human Zoo

If you are seated with your legs crossed and have recently imbibed a certain scented smoke, perhaps you have considered that a Zoo is not a display of Animals, rather it's a place for Animals to sit and Watch Humans.

If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey? ~ Steven Wright

Human Zoo

The Human Zoo

"Ooh look Freddy, it's one of those Humans we heard about."

Monkey Business

Evolution Monkey

We are all agreed that this isn't exactly a pleasant Sandy Beach. So we are not surprised to see this Monkey head for the softest spot around

Monkeys are known for finding somewhere nice to relax, a comfortable branch is nowhere near as soft and relaxing as what this guy has found. Also notice that through evolution this Monkey is naturally inclined to hang on no matter how short the drop to the ground might be.

Evolution Monkey

Evolution Monkey

Hanging on to prevent a fall from relaxation

Monkey Business

Education

Now this is a real beach, it's Sandy - which is probably why it is more crowded than the last image. Even so, notice that the Monkey again finds the most comfortable spot around.

Monkeys are inquisitive by nature; they are naturally inclined towards education but what science has come to realize, they choose what they wish to learn about. Men and Monkeys not only share 99% of their Genes, they share 100% of what interests them - apparently.

Education

Monkey Education

Learning is a basic instinct of Man and Monkey


For those who worry a little about their activities after the sun goes down - or at any time they are with a member of the opposite sex here's more reason to be concerned.

Check out a few who have injured themselves trying to perform.
Sex Horror Stories

Sexual Injuries

We have done a little research and have come up with six of the worst horror injuries suffered during sex.

This isn't for the squeamish so if you wish to go ahead be our guest, but don't tell us we didn't warn you

Sexual Injuries

Shop of Horrors

Nobody expects an injury during sex but it happens.

Sex Horror Stories

Sucked

A couple's sexy tryst in the sea ended in agony when their GENITALS became stuck together.

The Italians took advantage of a warm day and deserted beach by frolicking naked in the sea. Things soon became x-rated as they embraced in a passionate clinch. What was undoubtedly a dreamy experience soon became something of a nightmare when they realized they were unable to pull away from one another.

Italian newspaper Il Mattino reported that the man was “unable to extricate himself from the woman due to suction”. Help arrived in the form of a woman walking alone one the beach in the Marche region of Italy. She handed them a towel as they manoeuvred to the beach - still "as one" - to protect their modesty.

They were taken to hospital and a doctor freed them by administering an injection to dilate the woman's uterus.

Sucked

Stuck Together

A vacuum can really suck (pun intended).

Sex Horror Stories

Twas an Accident

A man reportedly ended up with his penis being bitten off during a romp with secretary in his car after it was struck by a reversing van.

The force of the impact caused the 30-year-old woman to clamp her teeth down on her man's privates in a Singapore car park, according to Chinese press.

She apparently screamed loudly and appeared from the vehicle with her mouth covered in blood. Arguably the worst part was that the couple were being watched by a private investigator sent by the woman's husband to find out if she was cheating. She definitely was.

Twas an Accident

Airbag Vampire

We wonder how this one can be explained to the Insurance Company

Sex Horror Stories

Eternal Attachment

An elderly gentleman who died while having sex was wheeled out of his house by paramedics - with a prostitute reportedly still attached.

The shocking video, was has been shared thousands of times online, shows the man lying on a stretcher covered in a blue sheet. Underneath the sheet, the outline of what is presumed to be a woman can be seen crouching underneath.

It is alleged that the elderly man was having sex with a prostitute somewhere in China, though the exact location is not clear, when he died.

Eternal Attachment

Take care of the Elderly

Hanging in until the end

Sex Horror Stories

Rear Ended

A woman smashed into the back of a van while pleasuring herself with a sex toy. The woman, described as in her 30s, was static in traffic when her Mini suddenly lurched forward and hit the back of the stationary fish van.

She swapped details with the van driver whose bosses proceeded to check footage from the vehicle's rear camera.

To M&J Seafood's surprise, the video showed a woman holding a Rampant Rabbit-style sex toy and doing up her trousers.

Rear Ended

Something Fishy

There are laws about phones, what about vibrating rabbits?

Sex Horror Stories

On the Bottle

A man who got his penis stuck in a bottle was among hundreds of bizarre calls to the London Fire Department over the years. The fire service decided to reveal some of it's most X-rated calls among a rise in call outs after the Fifty Shades of Grey book was released.

In one tweet, they post a picture of a plastic water bottle, and ask: "Ever looked at an empty bottle & thought I wonder if my penis will fit?"

Another, with a picture of a Henry vacuum cleaner, jokes: "A man putting his tackle in a vacuum was just one of our jobs

Such calls - at $360 apiece - have cost the brigade nearly $490,000 in the past three years, they said.

On the Bottle

On or 'in' the Bottle

Sex-related calls are on the rise. (Again, pun intended).

Sex Horror Stories

Hot Pussy

A woman was left with a painful vaginal injury after she set fire to her crotch in the middle of a dance off.

A picture shows the woman screaming as she glances down at her crotch and sees flames engulfing her denim hotpants. Members of the audience scream in horror as the woman runs to the side of the stage to get help from security guards and other onlookers who attempt to extinguish the flames. Another audience member tries desperately to drag the shorts away from the woman's body.

After putting out the flames, the woman returned to the dance floor to finish off her routine.

It remains unclear where the picture was taken, exactly how the woman managed to set fire to her crotch or what the extent of her injuries were.

Hot Pussy

Hot Pants

When she put on the hot pants we don't think how hot she was going to get


It's amazing what kind of Swimwear we an see on the beach these days? Don't say that you don't look because you know that you do.
Strange Swimwear

Fashion

As the weather gets cooler we though a last look at the beach might be fun. We are focusing on the Strange, the Weird and in a couple of instances, the downright nasty.

The lady on the left was arrested for indecent exposure. How things have changed - we think we live in a wonderful world today; at least we believe improvements have been made.

Fashion

Fashion

We are happy that Fashion is following a positive trend

Strange Swimwear

Too Late

There comes a time when we all have to admit we are getting a little too old for a few items in our wardrobe. Not all of us come to this realization soon enough

We are pretty sure that this lady has a mirror in her bedroom or bathroom. A quick look (without alcohol) might have saved the day. Eventually we all realize that Fashion no longer has anything to do with us.

Too Late

UnFashion

This would have been very sexy once

Strange Swimwear

Scarey

As we warned, the totally disgusting! This guy actually thinks he's looking good

We thought about this for only a few seconds - we couldn't stand much more. One would think that his wife would have said something? How about his friends? Maybe this isn't the kind of person you say "No" to? Who knows.

Scarey

Yargle!

There isn't anything to say here is there?

Strange Swimwear

Two Nice

Sometimes you see something so nice that you wish you had double vision, the better to experience it twice

This is art we think. There should be more of this in the Louvre (Paris), nicely framed and well lit. For those who don't have double vision we present the image twice.

Two Nice

Twins?

No, this is not a Chewing Gum Ad

Strange Swimwear

Face

Showing a good face? Turn the other cheek?

We looked and then looked again. A nice idea we think. It's thought provoking for sure but the more we looked at it the weirder it became.

Face

Hey!!

My eyes are up here!

Strange Swimwear

Leftovers

Personally I love left overs, maybe you do to? How about sharks?

This may be the best Shark Protection out there. If sharks are not interested in leftovers maybe they are not interested in this tender morsel. As for the rest of us, we are very interested

Leftovers

Bite here

A nice idea; we love it

Strange Swimwear

Warning

Speaking of Sharks. This could be a warning, "There are Teeth Down Here!" Or not

Fashion is driving the swimsuit market towards animals. Check the web and you will find cute kittens adorning swimsuits, very cute and obviously there's a message. It is a pussy after all. That being the case the Shark option has to be a warning too, doesn't it?

Warning

Pecker Warning

Do Not Enter

Strange Swimwear

Guts

You have to have Guts to wear this one but it does have benefits in certain circles

If a lady is looking for a husband in the medical field this outfit would almost certainly be of help. Approaching a single surgeon on the beach dressed like this would command attention

Guts

Courage

Have Guts, will travel

Strange Swimwear

Fishy

Now here's a novel idea.

Members of PETA can be assured than these fish didn't last long inside the bag. Additionally fish can get sea sick when sloshed around out of their regular environment. Still, if they appreciate boobs the way most of us do then; what a way to go!

Fishy

Fishing Spot

Fishing License anyone?

Strange Swimwear

Flip Sides of a Coin

We saw this and knew right away we had to protect our visitors. So we have someone who didn't check the mirror before they left home and someone who did ... we guess.

Which is the mistake? Just wondering.

Flip Sides of a Coin

Heads or Tails

We actually prefer the one on the right