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As a sex worker, I always found it was advantageous to become a Triple Threat – not just offering domination, but also webcamming and phone sex too.

Then you can just watch the magic happen from the comfort of your sofa.  The problem with webcams, however, is that it takes a lot more effort.  I mean, there’s no point in telling him you’re going to make him lick your stilettos when you’re wearing your Granny’s Christmas slippers because… well, he can see it.  But when it comes to phone sex, you really can let your imagination run wild.

For a start, it’s totally anonymous. They can’t see you, and you can’t see them.  We can both enjoy ourselves in different ways – he thinks I’m dressed in PVC and thigh high boots, and I get to earn money while in my pyjamas and a cat on my lap.  Also, we can take whatever flight of fancy that comes to mind.

We can really explore those fantastical, bizarre and outlandish fetishes without letting something as stupid as reality get in the way.

So I’ve complied a list of some of the most popular requests, as well as a few really ‘stand-out’ moments.

Feel free to try some at home.

Gigantism (otherwise known as macrophilia)

‘Squash me! Squash me under your huge feet. Squash me between your giant tits. Throw me around like a rag doll!’  There’s not really much more I can add to this fairly popular fetish.

Research material includes Attack Of The 50 Foot Woman, but – as with many kinks – you can’t just stroll around crushing buildings and banging on bridges all day.  Sooner or later you have to face up to the fact that all this tiny guy really wants is to be a human dildo.

 

Small Penis Humiliation (SPH)

Let me preface this by saying actual penis size bears no relevance – to this, nor to your worth as a human being.  It’s just that sometimes (lots of times) some men (lots of men) like to be told how small and useless their pee-pee is in exchange for cash.

What a time to be alive.

 

Cuckolding

We’ve all been there, right ladies?  Your man just isn’t giving the goods in the bedroom department, so you get a guy with a big cock to come in and start fucking you in front of him, am I right?

Very often, my job was to describe derisive looks and comments from the girlfriend and her lover to the cuckold himself.

Research material involves Jeremy Kyle and your parents’ divorce.

 

Sissy training

Sissies are – how do I put this? – they are men who enjoy dressing up in slutty clothes and being treated like sex objects.

In phone sex, a 20 stone pensioner can call and within a minute he’s on the streets wearing nothing but stilettos and frilly knickers, whoring himself out to truck drivers for ten quid a pop.

Research material: What Men Think A Sexually Empowered Woman Acts Like.

(Eyeroll. Heavy, deeply frustrating eyeroll.)

 

Age play

When you advertise what services you provide, there is a very clear list of dos and don’ts and age-play was in the latter, only because I find acting a young age is just not my style.

Before you jump to conclusions, this isn’t necessarily in the ‘weird and creepy’ wheelhouse, it can be a fulfilling ‘Daddy-Dom’ type relationship; one person takes control and acts the stern patriarch while their partner happily brings out their young, playful, cheeky self.  It’s more to do with the characterizations of youth rather than (whispers) The ‘P’ Word.

In much the same way, I never fancied acting older than myself either.  As someone bought up within the am dram community and A-level drama, the ‘Mature Matriarch’ in me bore too much of a resemblance to Mrs Overall.

 

Don’t even try it

‘Hi, I want to call you, but my wife’s asleep so I can’t say anything. I just want you to talk.’

Bore off!

Call me paranoid, but anyone can record a phone call with the right app and re-listen when their heart desires (or send it out for $$$ of their own).

Also, it’s dull.

Unless you find a way to litter your sexy verbiage with flashes of stolen phraseology, of course – in which case you still get paid, but leave the listener wondering whether they really have just been delivered a lyric from The Littlest Hobo.

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